"I'm a very lazy, stay-at-home kind of girl." Jerry hall

Lazy indeed!  If you follow along with me daily on Facebook, you're probably not missing me.  If you are one of my 17 loyal followers here, I owe you an apology.  I've been a little lazy about my blog. 
Damn Facebook...the downfall of mankind.  It is so much easier to post links and comment on them then have the pressure of trying to keep you all laughing here.  I guess I'm just lazy.  Nonetheless...I'm here, you've missed me and were off to the races...

There has been so much to talk about.  I mean come on...talk about lazy...can anyone put forth the effort to keep their marriage together anymore.  "Fuck it!  Lets just get a divorce so I don't have to work on this crappy relationship anymore"  Is that how the conversation goes?  I wonder if our stars got paid as much to work out their problems as they do for a cameo on Glee, would they be more willing to "work"?  Hhmmm...I wonder.
Even though PEOPLE magazine has Kate Middleton on the cover this week, you know the inside is chalk full of those lazy asses filing for divorce or declaring a separation.  Look...up in the corner...they're trying to sneak in a blurb about Eva & Tony's "ugly split".  Who gives a shit?  He's not that cute and she's an elf.  Speaking of separation...did anyone else notice that David Arquette is totally out of control now?  Its like he has been uncaged.  Courteney let go of the leash and he's pissing all over the yard!

I cannot, I mean I really cannot wait for William and Kate's wedding.  Who wants to have a party?  Seriously...let me know.  All 17 of us can get together...we'll put on a fancy dresses that we stood up in a wedding wearing...we'll drink champagne...we'll cater in...it'll be so much fun!  We can talk about all the who's-who's that are invited.  Maybe someone will forward me an email (6-degree's of separation style) that will chronicle all of the days events just like when Chelsea Clinton got married...hold on...come to think of it...I do have an Aunt & Uncle that live 150 miles south of London...my Aunt must surely know someone who'd be invited to the wedding...I mean the whole county is about as big as the state of Illinois!  How hard could it be to press our proverbial noses against the glass?  Consider this an invitation and let me know so I can start working on the menu...

Now I'm not one to be hatin' on Jessica Simpson...but I think she needs to make up with her "stylist" BF.  The first thing that popped into my mind when I saw this picture of her was "fire-hydrant:"  Seriously, that was the first word that popped into my mind.  And if you know me then you'll now that's how I come up with my funny stuff...one word inspires me.  Lets talk frankly about her for a minute.  She does have some pretty outrageous curves...and she doesn't always dress age appropriate.  This get-up looks like she is going out to lunch with the ladies in her nursing home.  She was actually going to a dinner at the White House, but I'm not sure that the color or the ruffles are good for her.  Does she need a breast reduction?  



  

Now you just don't have any idea how much this picture pisses me off...

Lazy bitches.  There was a time when Ashley was trying to set herself apart from her sister , MaryKate...but now she is a lazy little bitch and taking on her sisters HORRIBLE style.  Who are they out looking for, Uncle Fester?  What the fuck is this?  Look at Ashley's handbag.  Did she get it at Salvation Army?  Can she not afford to have her dress hemmed to fit her petite frame.  Did they fight over who was going to wear the hair down, and then one said fuck it and gave in to the other one?  Was their mommy with them and does she still like it when they dress the same...I mean...they are twins and all...I think this is MaryKate's evil plot to confuse us into thinking that it was her sister that killed Heath Ledger!

What's that old saying...a picture is worth a thousand words...I only have two words. 

Wow, Chastity.

 

If I were SJP, I'd be super pissed about this photo.  There must have been two photographers because one eye is looking in a different direction and one boob is pointing in the opposite direction!  Matthew is whispering something out of the side of his mouth to Daniel Radcliffe...maybe something like "I'll get my wife liquored up and you can have your way with her while I take off with that hottie Emma Watson."  And what's up with the suit, Matthew?  Golfing later or just hanging with Jessica Simpson at the nursing home in your Sansabelt slacks?  Poor James Wilkie...why is he always James Wilkie?  Like Wilkie is his last name.  Could he just be James?  Only when SJP is mad at him should we hear his middle name, right?

There is so much stuff to pour over in this issue that I am exhausted and might need a nap before I move onto the INTOUCH magazine...I too am a lazy bitch...